I am the worst human being at the airport.

THIS IS PREDOMINANTLY A RANT POST. NOT INTENDED TO HURT THE SENTIMENTS OF ANYONE (UNLESS YOU'RE AN ARSE-WHOLE)

I know it's been a while so let me jog your memory a bit..

Let me start by saying, I am a fairly amazing human being with hardly any flaws. :p

I am probably not so good at video games like PubG, Call of Duty, etc.

But that's it.

But there are three places where I kinda sorta maybe lose my shit.

a) At the gym, when I see gym-bros hogging the cable machines.

b) When I see autos, cab drivers and two wheelers drive at 0.5 km/hr in the middle of the road and not give way

OR WORSE

driving on the wrong side of the road like maniacs (THIS HAPPENS A LOT)

c) At the AIRPORT

And as you can see, it's a very wide net I'm casting when I say "at the airport"

On the rare occasions that I reach the airport a little early and don't encounter big unnecessary lines, I sit in the lounge.

Today, I kept my bag on the chair next to mine on the right knowingly fully that somebody else could've used it.

But no. I don't want people to sit next to me.

I really don't.

I'd keep another bag on left..if I had another bag..if there even was another chair.

Before you tag me evil or anti-social, hear me out.

I'm not anti social.

okay, maybe I'm selectively social.

I don't know if it's only me but I encounter the worst people at the airport.

Uncles farting, aunties breaking lines without remorse, excited Bhaiyajis who don't understand the concept of personal space, peering from behind you at the food counter, at the ticketing lines, security check.

like why?!

Picking your nose in public while making eye contact with everyone.

Why are you digging a new hole inside the already present right hole before eating your food?

It's great that you're carrying on a conversation till the very last second before you lose network once the plane takes off but why do you have to talk so loud?

And why do you have to have your private conversations on the plane on speakerphone?!

UNLESS you want my opinion on whether Rajesh is an absolute haraamkhor or not.

AM I ALONE IN THIS?

DOES THIS ONLY BOTHER ME?

In flights, why do aunties who sit behind me use my seat as an anchor, using it as a pull up bar, doing their best to break the recline lock?

And kids of all ages annoy me too.

The really little ones are the loudest sirens.

AND the slightly bigger ones consider every place to be a potential track and field event for Summer Nuisance Olympics, playing different variations of the tag game (pakkadam pakkadai).

AND FULL GROWN ADULTS

DON'T steal full 1 litre juice boxes from the lounge.

DON'T constantly poke me with your stomach if you're behind me.

This general hate carries forward outside and extends to other regular nuisance creators as well and then exacerbates my hatred towards the human race.

Comment below if you've also come in contact with similar horrendous excuses of sucking oxygen or if you agree or disagree with me.

What about suicide bombers pretending to be auto rickshaw drivers?

Stay tuned for more...